Need help with plot holes and tie-ins! Ahhhh

[ChandlerT]

I've been brainstorming for awhile and finally have a story that I personally love, it's by no means completely developed, but it's enough bouncing around in my head for me to like it and hopefully you do too!

I'm not going into much detail cause this is a plot, the story might sound pretty dull, but I have a lot of details/twists planned out. I am mainly just struggling with some plot holes as I've always been a good detail writer rather than synopsiis. (plural of synopsis? lol?) Don't criticize my writing, I'm not looking for writing critiques, but rather brainstorm help.

(This is for an RPG like Final Fantasy, Eternal Sonata, etc, if that helps any)

You wake up in the real world, the year is around 2020, the future is not technological by any means, it almost appears to be apocalyptic. The world is in a great depression as several of the earth's natural resources are starting to run dry. Wars are breaking out between countries to vie for the last bit of resources left. (Question 1)

You are a middle-aged man around the age of 28. You are one of the many that is out of work, and you are merely just waiting for life to end. You visit a local bar where you spend most of your days. You begin talking to your bartender friend and he explains the new scientific research going on. A new technology has allowed scientists to open up a new world. Governments see the potential in this new world and are sending normal people to enter it and fight for them. (Basically, wars going on in normal and new world) They promise money if you return and care for your family while you are away. (Question 2)

While you have no family (explained later), you insist you have nothing better to do and might enjoy the chance to start a new life. You journey to the scientific facility and sign contracts, etc. You are "plugged in" (matrix term, I'm not sure how I want to represent journeying to the new world yet, suggestions welcome!)

You awake in the new world on your countries training base. You are introduced to the basics of fighting in the new world and how things are different here. After training, they send you off to a battle, somehow your troop gets routed, and you and a friend you've made make it to a nearby village.

This village is complete new world people. All of them do not even know about the real world that you come from and do not believe you insisting that this is reality instead of what you know. These people are not from the old world, never plugged in or anything.

Filler, filler, filler, character development, new friends, and so on. You slowly begin to doubt that there ever was a previous reality before this one as you begin to be convinced by the new world people you are traveling with.

(I know this suddenly just showed up, but I just failed to mention it earlier, it'll be developed.) You explain to the people how you don't remember any of your childhood, your parents, anything. You simply remember being placed on the earth around the age of 23.

You are slowly hinted at that you are not normal. Foreshadowing aside, you end up learning that you are an agent from God (an angel per say!?) sent to aid the new world. (Question 3a)

Enter rival/main bad guy. He is basically your opposite, an agent from the devil. (Question 3b)

All in all, he ends up killing your main girlfriend mid-story. End of the game, you defeat him (duh) and save the new world. You are then somehow ported to the old world (Question 4)

You wake up, wondering how what you did plays out in this world. (Question 5) You drive to the same bar, and sit down, explaining to the same bartender how confusing life is, hinting at what you did, what you are etc. A girl next to you overhears your conversation and finds it familiar. She tells you her name and its the same as your girlfriend in the new world!!! (Question 6)

Queue cheesy inspirational speech, make out scene, end game.

Longer than I planned but hopefully I kept you interested : )

Things I'm having problems with:
1. Do I make the world you start on like normal earth or with fake countries? Do you live in America in a real city? I wouldn't mind using the real world, I just fear when I say what countries we are fighting it ends up being a terrorism game or you fight freaking Russia and China in the New World which... eww. I don't mind saying youre fighting against real world countries in the real world, I'm just worried about after you're plugged in, who's armies are you fighting?

2. Why are governments sending people to the new world? What's the advantage?
Possible Thought: The new world is made up of energy. At the center, is basically a huge nucleus of energy, and they hope to bring it back to the real world and use it to create technology, resources, etc. Depending on what empire wins, it may ensure peace, or you can use the new technology and energy to conquer the world. But if anyone has any better ideas and situations let me know, I'm not completely sold on that.

3a. What are you aiding the new world from? Why would God send you? Also, who reveals the final conclusion to you that you are an angel, and what are some good ways to foreshadow and lead up to the final revealing?
Possible thoughts: God sent you to aid the country that would use whatever your fighting for for peace and not war, still doesn't answer how you are helping new world though.

3b. What does hell want from the new world? Is it just the opposite that they want it in the hands of someone who'd make war?

4. How do you get reawakened into the old world? You save the world, and just bam you're awake?

5. How does what you did in the new world affect the real world? How do I show that before the eventual conclusion of being reunited with you're new world boo?

6. Does your new world girlfriend, thats now in the old world remember that she was in the new world? Also, how do I explain how she got there or do I even need to explain it? Is it better off just left that it's her and you run off into the sunset? (Note people don't look the same from old to new world)


And thats it, I understand it is a big portion of your time to read this so thank you! Again, any feedback, good or bad is helpful. The questions are the main things I'm looking for answers for, but any ideas on possible mid-story events or just backstory and endings are always fun to see!

Thanks!

[genetransfer]

1. maybe use real cities etc...though with the new world order tie in, as that way you can have people fighting over a belief those who are for the one world government and those who are against that kind of control. Plus you have the elements and moral choices to base charactor develpment on. Like nwo offers food work housing etc... though they want you under their sign "mark of the beast " etc...

2. maybe a parralell version of this world, or where they have plenty of what ever is missing in this world. Something That would fuel those who are filled with greed, and the need to consume at the expence of the poor and rejected.

3a. To shine light into the world and dispell the darkness, to wake people from their sleepwalking. To stay true even at the cost of something dear to you.

3b. To poison and corrupt it like it did this world.

4. Maybe laying down the main charactors life for someone else, or some other selfless act, and goes through some self reflection kind of like the end of AKIRA, but returning at the end.

5. Evil gets locked up, until the final battle. the world is changed by the love being dusted off in the peoples hearts, and through that change the world is effected as we humans make the world in which we live. Not building's or world movement but how we treat eachother.

6. maybe he had a past love/wife who died years previously to makeing the decision to try this new world, and the girl in the new world has similar traits and mannerisms to his past love, which helps him heal the wounds of his previous loss. maybe incorporate these emotions into the final scenes. and though the world is a mess he gets to start with the feeling of all things being made new.

just some ideas, sorry if they didn't help much.

[timothyinspa]

wow very detailed plotted out

[ChandlerT]

Some good ideas gene I appreciate it. Hopefully you enjoyed reading guys.

Gave me a couple ideas to work with, much obliged.

[karligula]

Ummmmmm... having just celebrated my 37th birthday I sure hope 28 isn't considered middle aged nowadays...

[jaytraveller]

dont worry, midlife starts at 40 for the generation x

[Sloan]

Have you considered Dominic for a name?

For the first question. Do you have any [insert location here] situations? Where the player would be told where they are? for those that they fight in the alternate plane, more than one country will be grabbing land, so heading in X direction will make you fight different people depending on who holds the land.

2. the reason? there is everything from honest exploration, to beach head control, resources, mainly the whole enchilada. If you are using the real earth as a base, look at your date 2020. Thats the date planned for the refit, in the USA at least, major toy testing and resource grabbin time.

3a. For the fluffy side of things, the world could still be "fighting the corruption" so to speak, and you are sent to prevent increased [moral] corruption from the influx of earthlings. it would tie in great to the undercurrents these days.

3b. defence, here they are, working away at bringing down the shining hart of this world, and a big fluffy angle shows up, what is there to do but get a bit bloody and bring him down?

4. Time is limited, you are only allowed a certain amount of time to expend your power before it wains.

5. butterfly effect. That ties in with 3a with the fact that if another world falls under dominion, the ramifications upon other worlds will be great.

6. don't make it shiny. migraines, odd dreams, things almost remembered, there needs to be a price somewhere.


Pi. do you have a face that you are trying to name? or merely the personality?

Phi. Behind the name allows you to organise by meaning, I doubt how correct they are on some things, but it can give a general tilt.

[galent]

Nice start! Here are my thoughts:


Things I'm having problems with:
1. Do I make the world you start on like normal earth or with fake countries? Do you live in America in a real city? I wouldn't mind using the real world, I just fear when I say what countries we are fighting it ends up being a terrorism game or you fight freaking Russia and China in the New World which... eww. I don't mind saying youre fighting against real world countries in the real world, I'm just worried about after you're plugged in, who's armies are you fighting?


Starting with the real world gives your audience a starting connection with your story (not required, but it saves time explaining things so people can jump into the story). I'd say go with what you, and everyone else, knows.


2. Why are governments sending people to the new world? What's the advantage?
Possible Thought: The new world is made up of energy. At the center, is basically a huge nucleus of energy, and they hope to bring it back to the real world and use it to create technology, resources, etc. Depending on what empire wins, it may ensure peace, or you can use the new technology and energy to conquer the world. But if anyone has any better ideas and situations let me know, I'm not completely sold on that.


May I suggest a plot twist? I've noticed in my 3D world tools some ironic parallels with the human view historically... namely in a 3d world, the world is flat, yet attempts to mimic curvature of a sphere, the "universe" or "sky" surrounds the flat world and if it moves it really moves around the world, anything you "find" in a game was in fact carefully put there for you to find, and so on... perhaps the new world is well ... Man made. Created to address some current need.


3a. What are you aiding the new world from? Why would God send you? Also, who reveals the final conclusion to you that you are an angel, and what are some good ways to foreshadow and lead up to the final revealing?
Possible thoughts: God sent you to aid the country that would use whatever your fighting for for peace and not war, still doesn't answer how you are helping new world though.

going with my previous suggestion... the power to create and control worlds seems to be just the kind of thing a government (or God) would send someone to guide/stop/destroy/what ever


3b. What does hell want from the new world? Is it just the opposite that they want it in the hands of someone who'd make war?

see last response!


4. How do you get reawakened into the old world? You save the world, and just bam you're awake?

He who controls the making of worlds (again playing off my suggestion) makes his own way in them ;-)


5. How does what you did in the new world affect the real world? How do I show that before the eventual conclusion of being reunited with you're new world boo?

See above.


6. Does your new world girlfriend, thats now in the old world remember that she was in the new world? Also, how do I explain how she got there or do I even need to explain it? Is it better off just left that it's her and you run off into the sunset? (Note people don't look the same from old to new world)

Not sure about this one, I'm not a fan of romantic encounters if they don't have a real tie to the storyline...

Just my thoughts.

Thanks.

[Nae'blis]

Karligula - I was thinking the same thing, as I approach my 27th birthday this summer. Man, you guys must be considered ancient if 28 is middle-aged! ;-)

[Nae'blis]

1. Set it real-world at the start, as (as others have already said) it grounds the player as they get used to the game. Avoid the whole inter-country conflict and make it more feasible that a barman is telling you this wonderful information by making it an organisation that represents some ideal (probably shady) that has discovered the wormhole/technology/whatever you end up calling it. They're looking for unattached loners like yourself to earn big money on risky missions, but it's very much underground knowledge.

2. Have the gang heading to the world ultimately simply in order to save themselves from the ruins of our world, but now they've started to harvest some resource there - perhaps as commonplace as grain, plant seeds or clean water, which are now contaminated back on Earth - and run them back though to Earth for profit. Your character is simply someone they want to explore deeper into the new world; hence you don't intend to come back to Earth.

3a. First an admission to say I'm not religious in any way, so would baulk at the idea of God (by which I assume you mean the Judeo-Christian interpretation anyway?) sending me to do this great missionary work in a new world being the plotline of a game. But also, more fundamentally, why would an alien civilisation believe in your god and devil ? Unless you're deliberately aiming the game at a Christian market I'd avoid this area entirely. If I've overstated your religious aspects to the game, then I do apologise; this question just made it sound that you were intentionally catering for that market.

3b. Same as 3a. As an alternative you could have that your character naturally come to love the new civilisation and world he's found and so have the moral choice to either hinder the plans to invade this new world by what they percieve to be a corrupting influence from Earth, or to continue helping the gang's effort to exploit this world and then invade later on.

4. Perhaps you intentionally return there to spread the message of the other world and its people in an attempt to influence Earth to make peaceful contact and to trade for resources rather than invade with a military force, etc.

5. Perhaps word that your gang held this portal to the other world leaked out and so your government was going to invade the new world in an attempt to simply be there first and so deny other Earth forces the oppertunity. They were now aware that you were exploring deep in the new country and were wanting information on what you'd found. Assuming it's some technology that's got you there, perhaps they could forcibly recall you and that's how you come to be back (alternative for question 4).

6. I'd agree with Galent that if it's not required as part of the ongoing story, rather than some romantic cinematic ending, which it sounds like you're suggesting, then avoid it anyway. She could have been contracted as an explorer like yourself and you could have met her in the new world and worked together on some fact-finding mission. Perhaps also if you go with the forcibly recalled plot twist then she could be in a cell being interrogated next to you, etc., and you could get chatting and realise you knew each other. Regardless of how you meet up, if you can remember being there then she should be able to also - otherwise it's illogical.

I realise this is quite a deviation from your orginal plotline, but unless you're intentionally making a religious game then I'd avoid some of your plot choices anyway - if that's not the case then I've already somewhat proved my point that your game could be misconstrued.

As an aside which *might* help with fleshing out your idea, try reading the Alastair Reynolds book "Century Rain". That deals with warring, post-apocalyptic humans of the pretty distant future finding a portal to another planet - in this case an alternate reality 1950's Earth where WWII never happened. It's about investigating the new realm, harvesting the resources and trying to control the asset militarily, etc, so may be of some use to you... Perhaps. Otherwise it's a great read anyway ;-)