43v3r L0s7

[GTspeed]

Hey, I'm currently working on a free downloadable episodic computer game. You can check it out at http://43v3rl0s7.byethost12.com/

The first episode is up for download at http://mega-file.net/file.php?file=2fe42272ed4ab681e16c66f2253dba80.
I know it's not much, but any downloads or critiques would be greatly appreciated. Don't worry, I have plans to make it A LOT bigger (like actual gameplay).

[eddie]

Well, there's not much there, so there's two ways of looking at it:

1.- There's tonnes to critique, because there's tonnes missing. ;)

Or:

2.- There's very little to critique, because what's there is so little. :)

So, rather than going *either* of those routes, at least off the bat, lets start with the positives. ;)

What I like:

1.- The idea of an ever improving episodic game.

This isn't a new idea, but it's a good one. Rather than doing an MMORPG which is *tonnes* of work, start out small and improve with every release. Great idea if you can pull it off.

2.- The idea of starting text-base, building story and then going into game.

Another good idea -- find out what works, where you're going, what your fanbase is, etc.

I had a recent thought that it would be a good idea to do a comic book in a similar way. Something like an online comic that gives way to a game where you have some range (limited->limitless) of control over what a character could do, and then the audience can somewhat shape the story.

[eddie]

Dammit, I meant to preview, not post.

That said, I was going to start into the "constructive criticism" category, so maybe that's as good a break as any.

Bear in mind this is just my opinion, so take it or leave it. But here's what I see as weakpoints in your game:

1.- There is no game. ;)

I imagine that your first "release" is just a "cinematic" of sorts, in an attempt to be a teaser. Good idea, and I like the way you did the "interactive-script" dialogue.

That said, it's rather simple. You could-have (can? The joys of episodic content) make the "cinematic" engine be very neat with having peoples "speech" come from either side of the screen, to mimic back/forth talking -- it would be a neat bit of "physical" comedy you could to it as well (like Will talking on the left, the king in the top middle, and Axel pops in half way throughout, talking on the right). Just a thought.

2.- The "story" seems rather weak and pokes fun at the obvious lack of plot too often.

I'm all for breaking the fourth wall at times, but generally you do so when you have something else to fall back on. Games like Grim Fandango did a good job of that on occasion but that game had mood; it had substance, it had style. Your "game" doesn't have that (yet, I suppose), so don't bank on credit that you don't have.

Writing a good story isn't easy, but for some people it's easier than others. If you find that you're not a good person for putting it together, then maybe see if someone wants to help contribute/shape your idea.

Anyhow, I hope you take the previous two points with a grain of salt -- I suggested some alternatives/corrections, so perhaps you will see it as what it is: constructive criticism.

That said, I do like the vision-of-a-medium you're delivering your game in. Perhaps I'll try something like that. Shouldn't take too long to code... :)

[monjardin]

You crazy Canadians. Isn't it easier to just say tons. ;)

Why should I run the binary when I can read Episode1.txt in notepad.exe just as well? How does this qualify as a game?

[GTspeed]

Dammit, I meant to preview, not post.

That said, I was going to start into the "constructive criticism" category, so maybe that's as good a break as any.

Bear in mind this is just my opinion, so take it or leave it. But here's what I see as weakpoints in your game:

1.- There is no game. ;)

I imagine that your first "release" is just a "cinematic" of sorts, in an attempt to be a teaser. Good idea, and I like the way you did the "interactive-script" dialogue.

That said, it's rather simple. You could-have (can? The joys of episodic content) make the "cinematic" engine be very neat with having peoples "speech" come from either side of the screen, to mimic back/forth talking -- it would be a neat bit of "physical" comedy you could to it as well (like Will talking on the left, the king in the top middle, and Axel pops in half way throughout, talking on the right). Just a thought.

2.- The "story" seems rather weak and pokes fun at the obvious lack of plot too often.

I'm all for breaking the fourth wall at times, but generally you do so when you have something else to fall back on. Games like Grim Fandango did a good job of that on occasion but that game had mood; it had substance, it had style. Your "game" doesn't have that (yet, I suppose), so don't bank on credit that you don't have.

Writing a good story isn't easy, but for some people it's easier than others. If you find that you're not a good person for putting it together, then maybe see if someone wants to help contribute/shape your idea.

Anyhow, I hope you take the previous two points with a grain of salt -- I suggested some alternatives/corrections, so perhaps you will see it as what it is: constructive criticism.

That said, I do like the vision-of-a-medium you're delivering your game in. Perhaps I'll try something like that. Shouldn't take too long to code... :)
Thanks for the critique. I don't mind constructive criticism; it'll just hopefully make the game better.

As for the first point, I love the idea of a more "cinematic-cinematic". I think that would work very well. I'll try to get that done and do a re-release sometime.

As for the second point, now that I think about it, your completely right about there not being much style. I'm hoping that the second episode will be better developed, but does anyone have any good articles or such that would help me in this?

The second episode should be up by August 29, and will have actual gameplay.

[eddie]

Thanks for the critique. I don't mind constructive criticism; it'll just hopefully make the game better.


Glad you look at it as such.


As for the second point, now that I think about it, your completely right about there not being much style. I'm hoping that the second episode will be better developed, but does anyone have any good articles or such that would help me in this?


Well, style is a hard thing to 'learn' - or so I find. I imagine you could find something out of a creative writing course (granted, you'd have to *enjoy* the learning process, or else you won't learn much), and you might be able to find creative writing articles on the 'net somewhere.

Basically I'd just suggest pouring over your script repeatedly and just ensuring that every bit of it is sound and interesting. I can see that you're trying to have fun with your first script, and that's not a bad thing - just make sure that you balance some substance, some mystery, or something else that's *gripping*. If you're doing something episodic, you have to make sure that the first things you release entice people to come back.

Even tho' your "cinematic" isn't anything more than a text-file reader, if your story was of a good calibre, you'd probably have at least a few people interested in seeing where you go with this. Remember that we were all fascinated as kids by story books, so it's not hard to believe this.

Anyways - I suppose my short answer to your "where do I find articles?" is "I don't know". But in my opinion, if you're the type that already loves good story lines in games/books/etc, then you've already got the chops, you just have to flex them. Re-read passages of your favorite books/screenplays/scripts/games and see what makes them tick. Encorporate them into your story.

You might end up with a shallow copy of the stuff you were reading to start with - but at least you'll know what it is you want. Revise from there until you end up with something uniquely your own.

Anyhow, enough blabbering from me. I suppose you get my point by now. ;)

[GTspeed]

So I've got a NEW episode complete. Check it out at http://upload.ohshare.com/v/1423368/Episode2.ZIP.html. Tell me what you think to it.